Monday, July 24, 2006
its not clear. what is to be. or what isnt. its not clear. show a sign i said. but there are now a flurry of contradicting signs and things that have happened that really leaves me wondering.
i wonder what you are really thinking. i wonder what you think of all this. perhaps u are even oblivious to everything that im talking about. who knows? i jus dun dare to ask. to even come close to this topic to gauge.
we all miss some1. a good friend now overseas. a family member who passed away. your old dog who died in his sleep. your ex(es). tt pain, more in some cases, is harboured in your heart. the memories engulf you in suffering as every place you go brings back those wonderful times. even the most unrelated things can trigger off residual memories and bring back, even amplify the torment that you were feeling.
the past was bad. but this does not mean one forsakes the present. you do not give up the oppourtunity to make new friends. you do not not love your other family members. you do not have to abstain from getting another pet. similarly, you do not stop yourself from opening up and loving some1 as much as you did with him/her.
ive said this before to some1, and i'll say it again:
Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it u would let go of today?
to let go of sth, is not to forget it ever happened. it is to accept that it has already happened. and from there on you either make choices that could undo what has been done or you move on. in most cases, what's done is done. and most people find themselves moving on. reluctantly. painfully. why make it so difficult? true, its harder to do than to say. i was there once. i know how it feels. but stop wallowing in self-pity, i realised too late. no one owes you anything(aside from money they borrowed). even if you love/loved some1 with all your heart, that person aint obliged to reciprocate/stay with you. true giving has no expectations. so dun expect nothing.
giving some1 all your love and concern is no assurance that they will love you back in the same way. dun expect love in return-jus wait for it to grow in his/her heart. but if it doesnt, be content that it grew it yours.
all hail the power of love, for it alone surpasses all the other great evils--greed, cunningness, etc. even the most evil of people can get swayed by the simple act of love. dun get me wrong, it could be the love of something else and not some1. but it is love nonetheless. sure, love in itself is a great evil. it manifests greed, trickery, butchery. nations can rise and fall riding on this fact. ancient empires are testimony to that.
on a lighter note, some1 jus talked to me about Him. this issue of faith has crossed my path countless times and each time i find myself looking for Him in my life. from people's experience sharing, i find Him in alot of areas of my life. however, i jus cant seem to find tt one thing that empowers me to really believe. i find myself skeptical of certain issues and beliefs, which forms a barrier that shows no space and allowance for religion.
ohwell. life isnt as hyped up as it is said to be. it can get a little draggy at times.
and the world spits on me again
i wonder what you are really thinking. i wonder what you think of all this. perhaps u are even oblivious to everything that im talking about. who knows? i jus dun dare to ask. to even come close to this topic to gauge.
we all miss some1. a good friend now overseas. a family member who passed away. your old dog who died in his sleep. your ex(es). tt pain, more in some cases, is harboured in your heart. the memories engulf you in suffering as every place you go brings back those wonderful times. even the most unrelated things can trigger off residual memories and bring back, even amplify the torment that you were feeling.
the past was bad. but this does not mean one forsakes the present. you do not give up the oppourtunity to make new friends. you do not not love your other family members. you do not have to abstain from getting another pet. similarly, you do not stop yourself from opening up and loving some1 as much as you did with him/her.
ive said this before to some1, and i'll say it again:
Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it u would let go of today?
to let go of sth, is not to forget it ever happened. it is to accept that it has already happened. and from there on you either make choices that could undo what has been done or you move on. in most cases, what's done is done. and most people find themselves moving on. reluctantly. painfully. why make it so difficult? true, its harder to do than to say. i was there once. i know how it feels. but stop wallowing in self-pity, i realised too late. no one owes you anything(aside from money they borrowed). even if you love/loved some1 with all your heart, that person aint obliged to reciprocate/stay with you. true giving has no expectations.
giving some1 all your love and concern is no assurance that they will love you back in the same way. dun expect love in return-jus wait for it to grow in his/her heart. but if it doesnt, be content that it grew it yours.
all hail the power of love, for it alone surpasses all the other great evils--greed, cunningness, etc. even the most evil of people can get swayed by the simple act of love. dun get me wrong, it could be the love of something else and not some1. but it is love nonetheless. sure, love in itself is a great evil. it manifests greed, trickery, butchery. nations can rise and fall riding on this fact. ancient empires are testimony to that.
on a lighter note, some1 jus talked to me about Him. this issue of faith has crossed my path countless times and each time i find myself looking for Him in my life. from people's experience sharing, i find Him in alot of areas of my life. however, i jus cant seem to find tt one thing that empowers me to really believe. i find myself skeptical of certain issues and beliefs, which forms a barrier that shows no space and allowance for religion.
ohwell. life isnt as hyped up as it is said to be. it can get a little draggy at times.
and the world spits on me again
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THE DARKER SIDE OF ME;
-7:06 AM-
THE DARKER SIDE OF ME;
-7:06 AM-