Friday, July 14, 2006
sickness is a terrible thing to grapple with. especially when its terminal. ur jus waiting for ur time to come. slowly slowly, day by day. its such a terrible state to be in. aah.
the issue of laziness and fun-loving is catching up with me again. im having probs with doin my part of the CIP PBL proj. im sorry to my grp mates. but there's jus too many things happening. of cos it mainly lies with my laziness but there're also some issues tt i have to face.
i suddenly feel like my life is kinda empty. sure i have the support and company of many friends and even some special ones-u know who u are. but i still feel empty. the space tt is meant to be filled by tt special some1 has remained this way for jus too long. sure this is sth most pple can do without. but for me, this is jus the way i function. the need for someone to be there for me almost engulfs me in anguish as i realise with a sting tt there's no one to take on tt role.
its not an issue of there not being anyone willing. its jus tt im not willing. it aint mutual. the few pple whom i feel able to share tt special sth with either dun find it mutual or have left me. the fault lies with me? perhaps. i wun deny it. i failed to treasure wad i once had. and when i was willing to change/changing/changed, there was jus no more chance for anything.
wads wrong with me. the sadness and pain i feel each day from the emptiness of my life really hurts. on this note, i wan to apologise to a certain some1. its not ur fault or anything u did. the way the whole issue was handled between us wasnt very smooth and it lay on my side of the court. i kinda understand the anguish u feel and the mixed emotions tt trouble u. or perhaps i dun. but im sorry nevertheless and i jus wanna say tt things between us wil nvr work out the way we wan it to be. we may click well, but i jus cant bring myself to commit. and its jus not fair to u.
when will tt some1 appear in my life? when will tt some1 whom i can share the ups and downs of life together with surface? i can safely say tt there are pple like tt. pple whom i alr know. most have left me for greener pastures. there's jus this 1. this unique 1 who makes my heart at ease jus by talking to me. i can tell she doesnt even try but somehow it jus works wonders with me. if only i knew how to be as special to her, to make her feel the same way or even more about me. perhaps some guys could do tt very well--capturing a lady's heart. and perhaps i could. but tt side of me has died along with the failure of my past.
show me some response, and i will love u as i have nvr loved before, treasure u as the most priceless of treasures and make u feel tt love really makes the world go round.
jus show me some response.
True giving has no expectations.
and the world spits on me again
the issue of laziness and fun-loving is catching up with me again. im having probs with doin my part of the CIP PBL proj. im sorry to my grp mates. but there's jus too many things happening. of cos it mainly lies with my laziness but there're also some issues tt i have to face.
i suddenly feel like my life is kinda empty. sure i have the support and company of many friends and even some special ones-u know who u are. but i still feel empty. the space tt is meant to be filled by tt special some1 has remained this way for jus too long. sure this is sth most pple can do without. but for me, this is jus the way i function. the need for someone to be there for me almost engulfs me in anguish as i realise with a sting tt there's no one to take on tt role.
its not an issue of there not being anyone willing. its jus tt im not willing. it aint mutual. the few pple whom i feel able to share tt special sth with either dun find it mutual or have left me. the fault lies with me? perhaps. i wun deny it. i failed to treasure wad i once had. and when i was willing to change/changing/changed, there was jus no more chance for anything.
wads wrong with me. the sadness and pain i feel each day from the emptiness of my life really hurts. on this note, i wan to apologise to a certain some1. its not ur fault or anything u did. the way the whole issue was handled between us wasnt very smooth and it lay on my side of the court. i kinda understand the anguish u feel and the mixed emotions tt trouble u. or perhaps i dun. but im sorry nevertheless and i jus wanna say tt things between us wil nvr work out the way we wan it to be. we may click well, but i jus cant bring myself to commit. and its jus not fair to u.
when will tt some1 appear in my life? when will tt some1 whom i can share the ups and downs of life together with surface? i can safely say tt there are pple like tt. pple whom i alr know. most have left me for greener pastures. there's jus this 1. this unique 1 who makes my heart at ease jus by talking to me. i can tell she doesnt even try but somehow it jus works wonders with me. if only i knew how to be as special to her, to make her feel the same way or even more about me. perhaps some guys could do tt very well--capturing a lady's heart. and perhaps i could. but tt side of me has died along with the failure of my past.
show me some response, and i will love u as i have nvr loved before, treasure u as the most priceless of treasures and make u feel tt love really makes the world go round.
jus show me some response.
True giving has no expectations.
and the world spits on me again
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THE DARKER SIDE OF ME;
-8:34 AM-
THE DARKER SIDE OF ME;
-8:34 AM-